But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
