dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
