you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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