when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
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