If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
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