walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
