some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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