i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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