Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
