Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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