Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
If its not for food we ain't going out.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
