Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize