Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Drunk walkin through police station. America
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
