We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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