so that wasnt chicken after all
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
