Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(630): View more from Illinois

That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.

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(773): View more from Illinois

will power is for people who don't want to get laid

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(843): View more from South Carolina

got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired

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(941): View more from Florida

Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?

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The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Read it at the TFLN blog
(630): View more from Illinois

I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex

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(847): View more from Illinois

Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?

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(615): View more from Tennessee

To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again

(1-615): View more from Tennessee

You have a 50 50 chance

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(214): View more from Texas

I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.

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