That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.