"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
