im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
