There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
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