so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
