you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
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