I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
