I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Everyone says I win the strip club
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
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