Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
