Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
