John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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