Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
someone threw a dead crab at me
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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