well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
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