Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
