the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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