i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
