Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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