I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
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