I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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