If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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