you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Terrible idea I love it
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Randomize
