i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
