the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
