just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
