I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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