6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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