I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
