Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
