Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
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He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
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Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
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