Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize