She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
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