the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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