dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
