I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
