hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
