Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
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she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
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Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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