Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
im so drunk with asians
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT