I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
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I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
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That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...