Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
