Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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