Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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