The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
