I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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