if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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