so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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